Deleting apps will not cure your phone addiction

We are not addicted to apps, we are addicted to blocking our minds.

"Cold turkey" is a phrase you are most likely familiar with; in essence, it means putting a stop to performing a certain action by removing it from your life, whether that be cigarettes, alcohol, or internet addiction.

If you’ve been active in digital-wellness-promoting-communities such as r/nosurf, you’ve most likely come across success stories from numerous people who have created a post with a title along the lines of: “I’ve deleted all distracting apps from my phone and I feel better than ever”. And it’s not just a common pattern in that subreddit, but also in various self-help books.

From my experience, the apps that are distracting you and increasing your screen-time are not the culprit as you are not addicted to the particular app, or contents of it, you are addicted to these sort-of “mind-blockers”. These distractions act as a temporary escape, masking the underlying feelings you're trying to avoid or numb in those moments.

Consider it like sweeping dust under the rug. You sweep it out of sight, thinking the problem is solved, but in reality, the dust is still there, accumulating over time. Eventually, when you lift the rug, you not only uncover the initial mess but also the additional buildup that occurred in the hidden corners.

Success stories from others can be deceiving

I’ve used r/nosurf in the intro as an example, but let’s revisit it for another brief second. It’s very common to see success stories from users who’ve, at that moment, deleted apps from their phone and are reporting how good they feel about it. But that page, with those stories, can easily mask the reality.

As you start reading the next paragraph, you’ll have to decide on your own whether you’ll trust me, or not as the “data” I will be pointing out will be based off of feelings I’ve got while I was trying to dig deeper into the users behind those success stories, trying to identify whether they relapsed a week later or haven’t. If you decide not to trust me, then feel free to skip the paragraph. At one point when I have more time at disposal, I’ll revise this article and back it up with data, but until then, this is what I have.

Seeing those success stories can make you feel like that’s the solution you’ve been searching for. I mean, it’s obviously working for everyone else, why wouldn’t it for me? Well, it did work for me… for the first couple of hours, and I was finding myself quitting “cold turkey” every week, followed by a relapse. So I wondered, why does it work for everyone else and not for me?

The truth it, it doesn’t. A large percentage of those users that are behind those success stories relapse within a couple of hours, or days. Why? Most likely because they are not addressing the underlying issue which I mentioned in the intro of this article. And, for me/you as a reader, the problem lies in the fact that by just scrolling through the front-page, everyone seems to be successful with solving their phone addiction but in reality, by the time you’ve read that post, they’ve probably relapsed already.

The way I’ve reached those conclusions from the paragraph above is by recollecting my memories from when I was drilling into every user who posted a success story about resolving their phone addiction and seeing that within a short timespan from when their initial post was published, they were again seeking advice post-relapse.

A quick note on dumbphones
“Dumbphones” are another common solution towards achieving digital wellness, or escaping digitopia, which worked relatively well for me but as with apps, it was very easy to get back into old habits by picking up your old smartphone but overall, it provided much more value to me than the “deleting apps” detox as I had no choice to whip out my smartphone while I was outside.

How do I cure my phone addiction?

Unfortunately, there is no magic wand, as with most things in life. I’ve already mentioned before that it’s not “being addicted to the phone” but “being addicted to mind-blockers”, so rather than deleting your apps from your phone, let’s try to understand the blockers in your mind.

Keep in mind that simply reading the following won't magically resolve your issues; meaningful change will require actions from your end. And remember, the path to self-improvement is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself along the way.

If the majority of your screen time revolves around consuming TikToks, reels or shorts, chances are that you are feeling anxious, or stressed out. There’s a lot of things floating in your mind but it’s hard to address them. And that’s where the short-form content comes in handy, it serves as the perfect mask to stop those feelings and thoughts but the problem is, one you are done with the binge-scrolling activity, you’ll feel worse than when you started. Next time when you find yourself doing that, try asking yourself: “What am I watching?" or “Would someone I look up to, and want to be like that person be doing this as well, instead of doing something else”?¹

If the majority of your screen time revolves around browsing Reddit and various news sources, chances are it’s a tendency to stay plugged into the constant stream of information. The amount of news and discussions can be overwhelming, making it challenging to address the underlying emotions and, depending on what you browser, it can paint a much grimmer image of the world, especially if reading news articles. Next time when you find yourself doing that, try asking yourself, "Is staying constantly updated helping or hindering my overall state of mind?". And, if you are finding yourself addicted to Reddit, make sure to give my overcoming Reddit addiction article a read where I deep dive on that topic.

The points above can be also looked at from a chemistry standpoint and we could also spend time talking about dopamine and how internet consumption affects your dopamine levels, but I’m sure you’ve already seen a Huberman podcast or two and read about it somewhere else which is why I didn’t want to repeat what others wrote, but rather share my thoughts that helped me get through it.

Overall, a key tool that helps with all of the things I’ve mentioned is meditation because its goal is to bring you into the present state and one common pattern with the points above is that those feelings arise from either living in the past — thinking about negative things that happened, or living in the future — thinking about a meeting you are dreading, a doctors appointment, and so on.

In my case, when I'm in that present moment, a lot of the stress and anxiety that comes from being too wrapped up in screens and thoughts just fades away. It's like hitting the reset button for my mind and finding some peace in the middle of all the chaos.

Try it now. If your mind is filled with thoughts, set a 1 minute timer and focus on different body parts and see how they feel. Can you feel the blood flowing? Can you feel the chair beneath your glutes? Can you feel a soft breeze on your face?

Final words

I hope that you’ve gained some helpful insights from this article and, remember, it’s a journey, not a destination, be kind to yourself.

Before I let you go, I want to share a photograph captured by Eric Pickersgill that speaks a thousand words.

If you want to reach out, provide feedback, or just talk, please do so: digitopia.blog@proton.me

1. What am I watching? — prompts you to consciously evaluate the content you're consuming. It encourages awareness of the nature of the material, whether it contributes positively to your well-being, or if it's merely a distraction.

Would someone I look up to, and want to be like that person be doing this as well, instead of doing something else — encourages you to consider the choices of individuals you admire. It provides a shift in perspective by aligning your actions with the behavior of those you look up to.